Déjà Vu

November 14, 2006

I have been so steady, so on the job, on my struggle to be healthy and less heavy. It seemed too easy somehow, I wanted to tap my head and say How come you Couldn’t do it before ? Well is not easy , let me tell you. All I needed to fall in chaos was some major stress in my life, like, 10 days ago something happened that make me be my old self, scare, stressful, feeling overwhelm and full of doubt. WHAMP I started eating lie there was no tomorrow, I can’t believe how soothing and calming food is, movies are calming too but they don't increase your weight. I thought it was going to be like a day or two, but my binge when on for almost a week, and I ate everything I was fighting not to eat, I drank Coke like water and sat in front of the TV with a 2lbs container of Chocolate Ice cream, topped with chocolate syrup of course. It was me all over again running to food to feel in control, it was déjà Vu, it was the Matrix reloaded

I can see now how easy is to fall back on your bad habits, I get full of anxiety just to think that I can put pounds on. No please , No.

The good news is that , I kept exercising so I didn't increase my weight. I just feel sad to be stuck in 259 lbs for so long.

Do something, Do anything, Get Going, NOW.

Roddy

3 comments:

angelfish24 said...

Falling off the wagon happens once in a while. What counts is what your doing, recognizing it and then decided to make healthy choices again. Good for you on keeping on exercising! I have been reading some on the emotional connection to food as that is something I'm attempting to overcome in order to be healthy for life. It's not an easy thing though! Hope you have a good week! I'm trying to come up w/ healthy strategies for the holidays and to not gain this year!

Anonymous said...

I bet that even though the behavior was the same as before, what was going on in your head about it was different. You KNEW you were eating for emotional comfort. And even though knowing didn't stop you, the reflection you did about your eating was probably really different. And that's progress. Sometimes I think you have to briefly revisit bad habits to learn about them.

FAT BITCH said...

Hi Roddy :)

So true about food and the comfort it brings.

I am experiencing the same type of behavior as you are regarding my own weight loss stall, my dear friend.

Sorry for your stress and I hope it gets better and just know that now you have three people who understand. HUG