I AM Still here

June 29, 2006

I am still here, still struggling, fighting, thinking, planning; this is an all consuming war to lose weight. This week I got distracted, my emotions were some where else, so I could make it to the Gym, only twice, so I tried to make up with a very strict calorie intake, too strict, I don't plan to do this too often, but in this case it did work.

I weight-in at 295.4 lbs, this loss was huge, but unhealthy as I really starved myself. I intend to eat more and make it to the Gym more often for the rest of the week

The good part is that my son Alex is having his first serious Gig, playing in Toronto, this Thursday. He has been composing music for a while but I never notice an inclination of performing music, till now. I'll be posting some pictures, later.

My son Jorge is gone for the summer, he's backpacking in Central America, they going to cover Costa Rica, Nicaragua and Honduras in 2 month and a half. Took some hard preparations and hard work.

Keep going, never stop, never relax.



June 19, 2006

Hello Everyone

Yesterday, I ate like a pig, a big one, oink, oink, and oink. Food fell tastier than usual; it was good, first time in a long, long time that I felt in control, eating felt normal, felt good to eat. I was in a celebrating mood all day long and didn’t mind the extra calories; I didn’t feel like I was doing something wrong, I didn’t feel my usual F.I.N.E (Freak-Out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional). I was with my son Jorge, just talking , chilling, having a good time, flavoring a delicious St. Louis Burger with a Chocolate Milk Shake @ Johnny Rocket's, when I said to him, Dam I am eating like 1200 calories, right now, he answered back , Do not worry is ok to do this once a month, then I thought to myself , yeah he’s right , when you have been working hard, you have to love yourself, appreciate yourself, thank yourself for all the will power and focused effort you have been enduring, you, no one else's, not you hubby , not your best friend, not your support group, not your bloggers, it was YOU, they all helped you , motivated you, but it was you the one that got off that chair and moved your butt to the GYM and sweated it out for an hour, it was your inner you, that said NO way Jose, when you saw those Doritos and felt the cravings for a cold one (Corona with lime).

"Hey by the way, one day later, but better late than never. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the fathers out there. "

So let's all take some time every day to thanks ourselves for what are we doing, to say thank You, RODDY, you are the man, you made it to the GYM today, you pushed yourself to the limit, everyday, you really want this to happen, you showed your DESIRE to lose weight, Thanks to me and thank to all of you, who are going thru the same challenges, you are my inspiration.

I am so pumped, I am wearing some older shorts now, and guess, guess... they are 44, no more 46 waist for me, feels like honey. I also broke the 300 lbs barrier, I weighted around 299 lbs for two days in a row now, and it is a great feeling. It is an amazing feeling of accomplishment and happiness.

Glorious day!!!!!


Bloggers Do it all Night

June 13, 2006

Early on Tuesday, I just couldn't sleep, so decide to read on peeps blogs and write an entry. Another week came and went, I am getting older , damm , I should feel like this, but I am NOT because I feel like this,

due to the fact the I lost another 2 pounds (well almost). Yes, I weight only

On another note, I feel bad for the USA team loss on soccer but today plays my favorite team, Brazil so I am feeling groovy.

Hey keep youself on the track, because no one else will.

Where did he go ?

June 06, 2006

I was going thru some of my old pictures, the few that survived moving into many countries over the years, and of course, most of my latest pictures, I don’t have , I need to have my ex to make duplicates for me.

I need to get a good scanner to get this pictures into digital format. So I can get some of my old pictures of moi in my 20's when I was handsome and thin.

Keep working everyone, we can DO IT.

Wow another week

I am so pleased with the results of this week ( technically 8 days, but we won’t tell anyone), I went from defeat to success, from darkness to light, from misery to ecstasy, in only 7 days, I feel energized, motivated, hungry and ready.

Somehow I feel is possible, is attainable, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I can smell the fresh air on the other side, I listen to whispers of pleasure, I can almost touch that feeling, I can taste the sweet. I want to walk that tunnel, I want to cross the street, I need to be there, I want to be there, I WILL be there.

My plan this week was to diversify, change it up, make it fun, enough running in circles for hours, I think I memorized all the scratches on the walls and the bumps on the floor, I can walk that track blindly. So I set my sights at the stationary bike, wows what an emotional surge, less taxing on my feet( poor boys need it a rest), my old friend CD player doesn’t skip anymore( yap I know I should get and IPOD), lots of people around, makes you forget about time, precise measure on my heart beat so I can keep it @ 70% (best for fat burning). It was great, the only problem is that I needed to add more time as I burn less calories biking(sitting). I could make it only five days but hey, it was way better than the two days I dragged myself to the Gym last week. I could have done better on my eating but was able to hold the cravings @ bay, my only big meal was Sunday, I felt so guilty of not cooking anything the whole week, so I hit the kitchen, created some magic and overate. (Wow the best rice I had ever made, it was delicious)

Here is the big news, I stop the digits at an amazing 304.4 lbs, oh yeah, that’s 3.4 lbs less than my last week weight. I was like, this can't be truth, something is wrong, but hey I'll take it.

So there is hope, keep plugging.